Monday, 24 September 2007

Another Photo Gallery

I've just had an email from Michael Elsden, who was one of the official photographers at Brighton - he's just put up galleries of his photos at

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Monday, 17 September 2007

Videos are up on YouTube

All technical and geographical difficulties have been surmounted, and I have now put the footage my Sis shot at the World Beard & Moustache Championships up on YouTube. There are two videos - the first one shows the morris dancing and general milling around outside the Town Hall (highlights being a first sight of Jürg Biland's amazingly hugely wide beard - so big he has to walk through doors sideways - plus a nice view of my spats, and a very detailed all round view of Colin Bell, the nearly naked silver alien) - and then you get to see pretty well every competitor in the Championships as the whole parade walks by.

The second video shows the judging of the Partial Beard Freestyle Competition, in which yours truly took part - look out for Andrew Sheader's astonishing one-handed handspring which Sis did well to get centre-frame - in fact, given that she is only five foot nothing and was surrounded by big hairy guys in outlandish costumes, she did a fantastic job of capturing the spirit of the event.

Since I last wrote, there has been a huge swell of photos appearing on the web - firstly you can look at the top three in each category on the Handlebar Club website, and they have also got a selection of other photos as well as links to a number of other galleries.

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Wednesday, 20 June 2007

73 Days To Go - The Perils of Intensive Beard Farming

Yes, yes, I know - what sort of blog is this that only gets updated every four months? Well, what you have got to realise is that growing a World Champion beard is not the pursuit of a part-time hobbyist. A barbathlete (from 'barba', the Latin for 'beard', and 'athlete', the English for 'someone who takes stuff too seriously') needs to follow a rigorous training program involving control of diet and sexual frustration. Given that the diet must be high protein (a heady mix of meat and lentils and fartiferous beans) and that, by definition, a barbathlete must have facial hair, you would have thought that sexual frustration was guaranteed. The key though is the control of sexual frustration - the barbathlete must have the continual belief that he is going to have sex in the very near future (thus stimulating the production of testosterone and hence beard growth) but never to have that belief fulfilled (once satisfied, testosterone production tails off). As luck would have it I exhibit the perfect combination of self-delusion and painful shyness to ensure optimum testosterone production. How fantastic is that?

Unfortunately, as with any thoroughbred, I have a sensitive constitution - a recent sighting of a razor led to my immune system being compromised. The consequent pneumonia and tonsillitis meant a spell in hospital, but every cloud has a silver lining - what could be better for my beard growth than to be surrounded by nurses whilst being a drooling spitting mess? I thank God every day.

(For further details of the science behind this post, please have a look at a Time Magazine article about sex and beard growth)

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